“Hard work guarantees success.”
Hard work just guarantees you're tired and broke while someone else's trust fund does all the heavy lifting for them 😎
“Pepperoni pizza is the best”
Pepperoni is just grease circles on bread pretending that quantity of toppings equals quality 🍕.
“Pineapple belongs on pizza.”
Pineapple on pizza is actually a culinary crime when literally every other topping exists and doesn't taste like you're eating dessert.
“Cats are better than dogs.”
Cats ignore you for eight hours then demand food at 3 AM, dogs at least pretend to care about your existence 🐕.
