“Friday is the best day”
Friday's just the day you're too exhausted from the week to actually enjoy anything anyway.
“Hard work guarantees success.”
Hard work just guarantees you'll be exhausted while watching lazy people stumble into the same wins anyway 😤.
“Pineapple belongs on pizza.”
Pineapple on pizza is a crime against cheese and should be arrested on sight 🚨.
“Cats are better than dogs.”
Cats ignore you for eight hours then demand food at 3 AM, dogs at least pretend to care about your existence 🐕.
