“Cats are better than dogs.”

Cats spend half their day ignoring you and the other half knocking stuff off tables 😼, dogs at least pretend to care what you think.

“Coffee is good for you.”

Coffee is just hot bean water that makes you jittery and dependent on it to function like a normal human 😤, sounds more like a trap than a health boost.

“Pineapple belongs on pizza.”

Pineapple on pizza is actually a culinary crime when literally every other topping exists and doesn't taste like you're eating dessert.